You Are Not Divorcing Your Friend’s Ex-Spouse

Not infrequently, I hear people tell me about the divorce advice they are absorbing. This advice comes from people they trust and believe.

My friend, who’s been through a divorce, told me I need to hire the meanest attorney I can find so I can crush my nasty husband/wife.

My friend, who’s been through a divorce, told me to withdraw all the money from our savings account before my wife/husband does it first.

Do not allow these people relive their divorces through your life and at your emotional and financial expense. If you must engage in such conversations with them, keep it restrained to a pat on the head/hand/shoulder and murmur, “There, there. It must have been an awful ordeal for you”. But do not get take their advice. Their divorce is not your divorce and vice versa.

Normally, they are not divorce professionals. (Even if they are, they are not objective.) They don’t have a thorough understanding of marital dissolution law, divorce finances and the relationship nuances of your crumbling relationship.

Not infrequently, I see people go through senseless emotional turmoil, wasted time and ill spent money in their efforts to follow their friend’s sage advice. Of course, you can have girlfriends or buddies with whom to drown your sorrows or cry over coffee. But do not take their advice. Seek professional advice.

Remember: You are not divorcing your friend’s ex-spouse.