This is for the mature husbands who have always been in control of the money and the serious decisions. You know who you are. You’re the guys who are married to the wife who always looked to you to make the decisions and hand out the advice.
The gotcha here is that you think your wives will not change after you ask for the divorce. She has always let you make the big decisions. She has always looked up to you for your leadership and brains. Now, it feels a bit like a burden to you.
But once she hires me in Houston or College Station, she will begin to wean away from that dependency. You say “Great! I want her to be independent.” Yes, until she starts questioning your wisdom.
She or her attorney hire me to help her understand the family finances and her settlement options. We figure out her living expenses and those of your children. We are accurate and we have reams of backup to prove it. The trouble is that you listed those expenses at significantly less. That’s because you estimated those expenses while I nail them down tight.
I really do feel for you husbands who are surprised when their soon-to-be-ex wives find their sea legs during divorce. It is a shock to be suddenly questioned after years of respect and trust. You are honest. You are looking after her best interests as you have always done. Why all this grief and mistrust? Because she is finally learning to stand on her own. She is questioning. She is seeking and getting guidance.
Guys, don’t make the mistake of thinking your wives will keep relying on you during the divorce. These wives become independent. And you need to be prepared to deal with it.